Six Steps to Build your Self-Esteem and Confidence

Believe In You!

Believe In You!

Six Steps to Build your Self Esteem and Confidence

Many of us are struggling, and many of us are facing challenges. They may be physical, mental or emotional. Maybe you have suffered some kind of loss in your life, your health, a job or maybe friendships. This can have an impact on your self-esteem and confidence which you need in order to heal, improve and enjoy a better quality of life. Confidence and self-esteem make a tremendous difference in your life and the lives of those around you. I have provided some tips that I have found to be helpful to me on building self-esteem and confidence while you are struggling, and I would like to share them with you.

1. Believe in yourself. Sometimes this is the hardest thing of all to accomplish. But, when you truly believe in yourself, you open up endless possibilities and opportunities in your life. This attitude attracts others that are of the same mind set as you. On the other hand, “misery loves company”. It seems that when you are positive and confident you pull positive people toward you the same way that negative and less confident people move toward each other. In essence, positive attracts positive and negative attracts negative. You must believe that you deserve all the wonderful things that life has to offer. You must believe that you will overcome your trials.  You must believe that you will find light in that dark tunnel. Not only that, you must know that you are worthy, that you have a purpose, that you are loved, that you can achieve, and that you have people in your life that want you to succeed. Take comfort in the fact that you have the power to change your life and start over. Know that you can and will succeed and your dreams can come true. You must first believe in you!

2. Failure is a chance for learning. Everyone must learn from their mistakes. You can take this opportunity to just give up and feel bad about failure or you can choose to look at it from a different perspective and change something. Understand that failure is a part of life; it happens every day, and how you react to it is the most important thing. Take your failure and instead of seeing it as a failure and in a negative way, look at it as an opportunity to grow and learn from it. Realize that it is ok to fail as long as you keep learning from your mistakes. Try again and your self-esteem and confidence will reap the benefits. You will become more self assured and confident in your abilities with every re-attempt.

3. Face your fears. Learn to move past them in order to build your self-esteem and confidence. Facing your fears is one of the keys to success. Everyone has fears and challenges that they need to face. Sometimes they may feel a bit overwhelming. However, if you don’t take the chance and push past those fears you will never know what you are capable of in your life. Taking reasonable risks can create an abundance of opportunity. I am not suggesting that you take risks that may be detrimental to your life. Maybe you need to take a risk in your social life. Maybe you need to change a job. Maybe you need to get out of your comfort zone. If you do something that is uncomfortable, it will help you get stronger. Say YES to a better life by taking chances to move past your fears and you will boost your self-esteem and confidence.

4. Understand that you have a purpose on this earth. It is of the utmost importance that you know that you are here for a reason; knowing this will also help to boost your self-esteem and confidence. Every person on this earth has a purpose, and everyone is loved by someone whether they believe it or not. Your life is valuable and very important. I understand that sometimes it is a hard concept to grasp because, for many years, it was hard for me. But I have come to understand this truth. If you can also grasp this truth, you will then know that you are important and here for a reason. This knowledge will go a long way to boosting your self-confidence and self-esteem. At one time, I had very little confidence in myself. I couldn’t understand what my purpose was. I found myself in a very dark place with little hope. I started by taking baby steps in building relationships with meaning. I slowly began to build a support system which boosted my confidence and self-esteem. I began to see that I did have people in my corner, and I am here for a reason. Trust in yourself and believe in your values.

5. Change your perspective. Sometimes during your struggles in life you lose your perspective on things, and you can get lost in your struggle. But the good news is that you can find yourself again and recreate your values and what you believe in. You can change your goals for your future and choose who you want to have surrounding you. Look at your struggle as an opportunity to re-invent who you are and how you feel about yourself. Build new friendships, new strengths, and new goals.  Changing your perspective can help in building confidence and self-esteem.

6. Do not compare yourself to others. You are unique and like no one else. One of my favorite sayings is, “energy flows where attention goes”. Focus your energy on making your own life better. When my confidence was at a low point, I remember I would compare myself to others. That is one of the worst things you can do to yourself when you are building your confidence and self-esteem. It is damaging to compare your life with others, especially when you are down. Each person’s life is their own, and we are all different. Everyone is equally important and everyone is valuable.

Building your confidence will take time, energy, and persistence. Never give up on yourself and keep moving forward. You are worthy, and you are here for a reason! You must believe in yourself, have confidence, and the world will open up to you in ways that you never dreamed possible!

I hope you enjoyed this post! If you did enjoy it, please share it with your friends and leave a comment below! I love hearing from you!

All the best,

Alanna Wong

p.s. If you haven’t read the introductory section of my book about my 13 year battle with Kleine-Levin Syndrome, you can read it here: 



  1. Judy Garey says:

    Awesome tips Alanna!! Thank you so much for sharing. 🙂

  2. Matt Ritchey says:

    These are some truly powerful tips Alanna!
    Thank you for embodying the practices that you preach 🙂

  3. Monika says:

    I especially love number 2. Wonderful advice!

  4. Julie says:

    Great article Alanna! So true! I Love your strength of spirit! xoxo

  5. Zina says:

    Great article! Love it! <3

  6. Kate Lindsay says:

    Great article. Learning to not compare myself to others has been (and some days continues to be) my challenge.

  7. A growing mindset 🙂

  8. Natalie says:

    Great post! It’s so true that we just need to take little steps everyday to face our fears and discover our purpose to build our self esteem. I agree that having like minded people around us cheering us on is key in all of this. Thank you for sharing great points as well as sharing your personal experience with this. Keep shining your light! Lots of love to you. -Natalie

  9. KellyAnne says:

    Wonderful post! I honestly had to go through each step in order to leave my 9 to 5 and build my own business from the ground up! Facing fears was a huge step that gave me the opportunity to walk in faith and be who I was meant to be! Thanks for the inspiration! ~KellyAnne

  10. A great article, Alanna, about something so essential to happiness and success in life!
    Spelling-out the different steps is really helpful and makes it feel so doable.
    Your authenticity shines through- thank you for sharing!

  11. PJ Moore says:

    Love these tips! Well thought out and instructive. Great blog post Alanna!

  12. Pooja says:

    I would not allow my sister to belittle me and make me second-guess myself and all those I hold dear.

  13. Mike Marryat says:

    Awesome post Alanna! Comparing yourself to others will get you no where but down. You don’t know what they have going on behind the scenes so their “perfect life” in your eyes may be something totally different. We are all unique and have special skills, talents, and personalities…don’t fall into the trap of living another person’s life. Live yours because LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL!!

  14. Nate says:

    Awesome tips here Alanna! Love your value!

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